Connecting
by Xandra76
Summary: Gibbs, being his usual super-hero self, saves the day once again. Still, things are getting to be a little too much for him. Ziva is there to help if needed...
1. Chapter 1

**Note(s):** First of all, THANK YOU so much for all you reviews on "Agony and Ecstasy". I never thought I could actually write something, especially in another language. But, considering the amount of fanfiction I read lately…

Your reviews really made me happy. I mean it!

And yeah, I am a Zibbs fan (in case you didn't notice…). In my first fiction I tried to explain the "father-figure" line and also why Ziva isn't involved with Tony. I don't want to do that all over again, so I'll just ignore it. The fictions are not connected, though.

And, the **disclaimer**: NCIS and the characters in ths fiction are not mine, Gibbs is not mine…

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs scanned the squad-room briefly from above, amused at how his team of well-trained investigators failed every time to notice him approaching until he was right there, practically in their faces. Well, their backs actually.

"… and I was just standing there almost expecting him to rip off the suit and take off in a red cape and tight pants… I'm telling you, boss-man must have some weird super-powers, 'cause…"

DiNozzo was rambling on, presumably about the heart-stopping conclusion of their latest case, which involved half the team dangling from the ledge of a 10 story building.

It just had to be McGee, of course, with his pathological fear of heights (not that he would ever admit he had a phobia), that the bad guy pushed over the edge of the rooftop. Seeing the younger agent flailing his arms wildly a second before he disappeared from view definitely made Gibbs' Top Ten "If-I-didn't-have-a-heart-attack-now-I-never-will" moments. Counting on Tony and Ziva to take care of the suspect, Gibbs threw himself towards the commotion in less than a second, at least part of him expecting to see another one of his people dying on a rooftop. Landing hard on his stomach near the edge, he came face to face with a more than panicked but thank God alive McGee, hanging on with just the tips of his fingers. Trying to gain some leverage with his knee against the raised ledge, Gibbs grabbed one of the other man's arms and pulled hard, almost managing to drag him up when his knee slipped and he found himself halfway over the ledge, his upper body supported by nothing but thin air and McGee dangling from his arms, screaming something incoherently. He still didn't know how exactly he managed to crawl backwards on the roof dragging his agent up with him, but he assumed it was he adrenaline rush that allowed him to pull himself plus a weight bigger than his own back up to safety.

More than half a day later, and his team apparently still talked about that. They were all pretty shaken up about it, actually, and he didn't mean just McGee.

Abby jumped him the moment they entered the squad-room earlier, hugging him like crazy, pigtails tickling his nose "Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, ohmygod, ohmygod, are you okay?" and then moving on to McGee for the same treatment.

Ducky took care of his scrapes and bruises and tended to the dislocated shoulder and torn muscle in his arm the best he could, all the time gently chastising him for refusing to go to a hospital and apparently "forgetting his age and being a hero without regard for his safety".

McGee thanked him so many times that Gibbs finally lost it and forced him to go Bethesda and have the sprained ankle and gash on the forehead looked at, just so he didn't have to keep hearing the younger agent's gratitude anymore.

Tony kept praising him to the skies to everyone who would listen (and Gibbs was mildly surprised that so many people were actually interested in his fate), but knew better than to let Gibbs hear him. DiNozzo knew very well, after all, how his boss hated public recognition, the stack of his un-claimed medals in Tony's drawer proof to that. He even let it slip that he had been "scared shitless" for Gibbs and "McPhobia", which said a lot about how serious the situation really was.

Ziva said all the appropriate things someone would say to a boss or even friend, but seemed remote, like her heart wasn't in what she was saying. Gibbs noticed her staring at him though, for longer than usual, as if she was trying to convince herself everything was fine. He wasn't an idiot, and he wasn't born yesterday. For a long time now Gibbs noticed how Ziva was giving him long looks when she thought nobody saw and how she reacted, subtly as it may be, to the few unintentional touches. He chose to blame everything on a case of hero-worship, or whatever. Not that he thought a lot about that, about her. No, they were co-workers, even more, he was her boss and what he felt, he felt for all of his agents, right? _"Yeah sure, Jethro, keep thinking that…"_

He stopped right behind DiNozzo, Ziva and McGee scurrying to their desks looking busy.

"He's behind me, isn't he?" Tony asked his by now rhetorical question.

"Yeah DiNozzo, I am". This was never getting old, Gibbs thought, Tony's face when he got caught saying something stupid. "Do you often think of me in tight pants, DiNozzo?"

"Aaa, no boss, NO, of course not, I was just…, we were just… why would I think of you in…" he grimaced, wrinkling his nose and than noticing the Gibbs-glare "…not that you wouldn't look OK…it's just really not my thing, you know…"

McGee was grinning widely from behind his computer screen and Ziva was outright laughing at her flustered partner, at the same time unconsciously looking Gibbs up and down, doing exactly what Tony wasn't. Gibbs could almost feel her gaze on him, warming him up. He took pity of DiNozzo and changed the subject.

"Why are you all still here at…" he checked his watch, squinting to see the numbers "… nine o'clock at night? Pack up, go home, whatever. "

Tony and McGee jumped up, apparently hurrying to leave before anything came up or the boss changed his mind.

"We were just, you know, waiting to see if there was anything else, if you maybe needed anything else, any… help…. Boss" McGee threw at the last moment, at Tony's pointed look in his direction.

Oh, so that was why they were all still here, they were worried about him but didn't dare to say so. Gibbs had to admit he was touched by their concern, although he wouldn't say that out loud in a million years.

"I'm fine McGee, I don't need babysitting. Go on, shoo!"

Tony opened his mouth to say something, but the glare stopped him.

"Yeah, okay boss, we'll just… Hey, you guys wanna go out for a drink or something?" he said, looking at Gibbs and Ziva. For someone else, it would appear he just thought of that. Gibbs knew better.

"You go ahead; I'll just go home and sleep"

"I have other plans", both Gibbs and Ziva answered at the same time.

"Plans, Zee-vah? Do tell!" Tony grinned widely.

"None of you business, Tony"

He again started to say something but gave up as Tim was dragging him towards the exit.

"Oh well, see you tomorrow. 'Night!"

Gibbs pretended to work at something on his computer, hoping it looked believable enough. He just needed some time to gather himself before he went home to… to what? He may be playing everything that happened down, but the truth was he was scared stiff that morning.

He'd seen a lot of people die, hell, he killed a lot of people in his days as a marine and especially as a sniper, but somehow when it was one of his people in danger it was… different. They were more like family that Gibbs wanted to admit, and after what happened with Kate he didn't seem to handle seeing them in mortal danger so well. He still felt his stomach turn and his heart pound in his throat as he remembered McGee going over the edge, just like he remembered every occasion Tony or Ziva were in similar positions. The un-describable, gut-wrenching horror he felt when he saw the footage of Ziva being carried out on a gurney during her undercover op in Morocco, not knowing if she was dead or alive, not to mention the whole Somalia fiasco when he thought for sure she was dead. And all the time he had to pretend it was okay, he was fine and he could live with whatever life threw at him. And for the most part, it threw a lot of crap. Last time he just couldn't pretend anymore and retired things didn't turn out so well either. _"Quit, Jethro, you quit, not retired"_ he heard Ducky's hurt voice in his head.

His hands were gripping the armrests of his chair so hard his knuckles turned white, increasing the pain of his shoulder and torn muscle and making him groan.

Ziva was silently studying him for a while now, trying to read his thoughts, worrying. She learned years ago that all her deeply-engrained Mossad training and the more recent investigator training weren't much help in figuring out this man. He only showed what he wanted them, her, to see, and that wasn't much. Very rarely, and now it appeared was one of those moments, he let his iron-tight control slip and then his eyes spoke volumes. She knew about what happened to his family from the beginning of her assignment here and so she noticed the brief flashes of pain whenever a case or situation reminded him too much of them. She also noticed that he cared about his team a lot more than he let on, and sometimes she thought she saw something in those ice-blue depths when he looked at her. _"But that's probably just wishful thinking, Ziva. He cares about you as much as does about Tony or McGee, not to mention Abby or Ducky…"_

His pain-filled groan snapped her out of her mussing and she stood, turning towards him.

"Gibbs? Are you in pain?"

"Why no, Ziva, I'm just peachy" he snapped before he had the time to put a lid on his emotions.

He tried again "I'm fine, don't worry, I've been worse"

"That's supposed to reassure me, Gibbs?"

"I didn't realize you needed reassurance, Ziva… I thought I told you to go home, why are you still here?" He felt guilty about biting off Ziva's head, but hated the idea of her seeing him vulnerable, and he didn't mean only physically.

He certainly was pissy tonight, Ziva thought, even more than usual, that is. His arm must really hurt, not that he would readily admit that. And he looked pretty shaken up, which he was even less likely to admit. She still didn't have the whole picture, though, so she decided to ignore his question. "You are also still here, Gibbs. If there is more work to be done tonight, I can help you".

"You can't help me, Ziva", he hissed, before being able to stop. "I mean, there's no more work, I was just… reading my e-mail" he tried to cover. No wonder, she didn't look like she was buying that. To her credit though, she didn't push the issue further, trying instead "the DiNozzo approach".

"If you're finished, would you like to grab a drink with me? Or…" she quickly added "we could join the others".

"I told DiNozzo I'm not in the mood. And I thought you had plans…" He hated the tightening in his stomach when he thought of her with some other guy. He had absolutely no right to feel that way, and…

"I lied". Ziva's curt statement interrupted his thoughts and his eyes snapped to hers.

"Why?" he narrowed his eyes, assessing the situation.

"I thought maybe you wanted to talk. If I was mistaken…" She turned to leave, hurt by his abruptness and the rejection.

"Ziva". She stopped but didn't turn. "I didn't say I was unhappy you lied".

"Oh, I thought… Never mind." She turned fully towards him, leaning slightly over his desk.

"Look, Gibbs. I'm not much of a …talker either, but sometimes it helps to… not lock yourself up" he smiled a bit at the expression "and share with someone who understands. I've lost more people in my life than you can imagine, I know what it's like."

His smile was sad and it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, Ziva, so do I".

Before he had the chance to chicken out, he added "So, how about that drink?"

She tried hard not to let her relief show. "Well, I am not in the mood for a crowded and noisy place, and I doubt you are either. I have bourbon at my place – that is what you drink, yes?"

This time he really smiled. "You're inviting me to your place for a drink, Ziver?"

She managed to look somewhere between ashamed and hopeful.

"I thought it's quieter and more comfortable since your arm must hurt, and I do have enough drinks, I even have some beer, but if you think it is inappropriate…"

He stopped her, although it was almost funny. "Ziva, don't unleash an "Abby-ism" on me"

At Ziva's utterly confused look, he explained "You're babbling".

She smiled and nodded in understanding, looking at him expectantly.

Gibbs slowly got up, wincing as his arm jostled and grabbed his jacket with his other hand.

"So, you're coming or what?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks everyone for the reviews! I can't believe how happy they make me!

Here's Chapter 2. The rating stays the same for now, but it will change for the next one.

I finished the chapter right now, at 2 in the morning, so sorry for any possible mistakes or confusions…

The light bantering continued for a short while during the trip to the parking place (where Gibbs tried to get into the drivers' seat and was swiftly overruled) and then to Ziva's apartment, but talking seemed to decrease with the distance. Ziva wasn't sure whether she should be annoyed or concerned with Gibbs' long stretches of silence. Of course, he never was one to talk much, but this time somehow it didn't feel right.

She kept checking him out covertly, without turning her head, Gibbs noticed.

"Anything you wanna say, Ziva?"

She seemed startled, but didn't try to cover. She turned towards him, barely watching the road anymore. "You are not fine Gibbs"

"That a question or a statement, David?"

She didn't answer, her eyes turning back to the road; the rest of the drive to her place was taken in relative silence after that.

Once inside and already seated on the living-room couch, Gibbs hated to admit how grateful he was Ziva insisted she didn't need any help in fixing a few sandwiches and pouring the drinks. He felt tired to the bones, and knew himself well enough to realize that emotional strain was at least part of it. The constant pain in his arm didn't help either. Maybe he should have gone home, he didn't feel he had the strength to even eat, let alone… _"Don't get ahead of yourself here Jethro, she's just being a friend"_.

He was still tensed and uncomfortable, Ziva thought as she entered the room with the drinks and food. She placed everything on the small coffee table in front of the couch and passed him a couple of over-the-counter pain pills she had in the medicine cabinet, deliberately ignoring his apparent displeasure at being pampered.

Three sandwiches and two beers later and Gibbs had to admit that despite the sometimes awkward silences he would much rather be here, with her, than home alone. If she expected a heart-to-heart, though, she would be disappointed, Gibbs thought, as there was no way he was up for that.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to, Gibbs"

"_What the hell, she__'s a mind reader now?" _he thought, eyes snapping to hers.

"I know I said if you wanted to talk… but it is OK if you don't. I … just thought it might help, you know, some people think that, although for some it could be rather difficult…"

"Babbling again, Zee….". She stopped for a moment, wearing a small embarrassed smile.

"I just meant to say I'm here if you ever want to talk"

Gibbs looked long and hard at the beautiful young woman in front of him. In the past few years he'd seen her laughing and crying, seething with anger or deeply relaxed, embarrassed or confident, chasing bad guys, doing paperwork or eating pizza. It would be easy, in all this whirlpool of different facets she showed, to miss that underlying _something _that Gibbs himself couldn't exactly pinpoint. Maybe a kind of sadness and loneliness which couldn't be undone, but also a deep understanding of the others around her. Counting on no one but yourself to survive does that to a person, he thought. _"She's a lot like me in that regard"_

Words just poured out of his mouth after that, surprising even him.

"Shannon and Kelly, Kate, Paula, Jen… and then all the times Tony or McGee or you" he raised his eyes for a second, starring right at her before lowering them again "almost died… doesn't really matter if I'm there or not or how good I am. There's absolutely nothing I can do to protect the people I… care about. Today with McGee, it was nothing but luck that he was still there for me to catch. Every day, every case, every second something can go wrong and I can't stop it, I can't stop any of you from dying"

Ziva could think of at least a dozen situations where Gibbs did save their lives, but didn't think her reminding him of them would help much right now. She felt her heart breaking seeing his pain; this amazing man, a true hero in her book, saw himself as inadequate?

"You are not God, and you are not even Superman, Gibbs, contrary to what Tony seems to think". That earned a small smile from him. "This is what we do, we all know the risks. Having you watching our backs lowers those risks, gives us confidence and… hope when there seems to be none" she let that last part slip intentionally, vividly remembering the sense of doom when she was framed and had everyone chasing her, and then the glimmer of hope when she heard his voice on the phone.

She watched him closely while she spoke. "But that's not the whole …thing, is it?" she guessed.

He again looked up at her, surprised. "You think that's not enough Ziva? I should find something else too, to… bother me?"

She didn't say anything but moved from where she was standing and sat herself besides him on the couch. Slowly, she scooted closer and placed a warm hand on his knee, mindful of his injuries.

"Gibbs, please…" She really didn't have to say more, he understood the meaning very well. _"Please don't shut me out, please don't do this to yourself…"_ he heard it all before, all of his wives wanted to "fix" him at some point and he never let any of them even try. What he said to Ziva before was more then he had ever said to any of them. Still, in any other moment Gibbs would have stopped there with the disclosure.

Later he would probably blame it all on the alcohol and the pain pills which seemed to work only in fogging his mind, but he allowed the words to spill, the tightness in his chest begging to be released. "I'm scared of again loosing someone I …love". Ziva's heart leaped in her throat. Did he actually say…? But that could mean anything, he was probably talking about the team. She decided to let it go for now.

Gibbs paused, but forced himself to go on, looking straight at her. "I'm sorry, Ziva, I'm so sorry it took us, me, so long to come for you in Somalia. When I heard about the ship sinking and I thought you were dead, I just… I don't know, froze inside. I should have known better, I should have never stopped looking for you. If it wasn't for Tony pushing things, maybe I would've never…Forgive me, Ziva" he stopped, his voice thick and choked.

Ziva felt hot tears threatening to spill, her throat constricting painfully. So all of this, all his torment was because he felt he failed her.

"You couldn't have known, Gibbs. I was the one who chose to go, I never expected anyone to… save me from this one". He knew all that, he knew she didn't plan to make it out of there alive but still blamed himself. "But you did, you and Tony and McGee saved me. When I saw you in the hallway, after… I was so grateful Gibbs! I still am. You saved my life, there's nothing to forgive! There's _nothing_ to forgive" she repeated, trying to make him believe.

Minutes passed before he moved. He partially turned his head, looking sideways at her. He still looked pained and drained but his eyes seemed a bit clearer. "Thank you".

His face was inches from hers, and Ziva couldn't help leaning forward and placing a light kiss on his mouth, lips barely touching. She pulled back a fraction, looking him straight in the eyes. He seemed confused and maybe a little afraid, but didn't pull back. She placed her lips on his again, harder this time, her tongue caressing his lower lip. He opened his mouth for her, a little dazed from the feelings coursing through him, one of her hands touching his face with cool fingers and the other slightly squeezing his thigh. The kiss was soft and sweet and it still left both of them breathless.

"Ziva…" his voice was raspy and he cleared his throat "I should go home". He tried to stand, the movement jostling his arm and sending a fresh wave of pain through it. He groaned before he could stop himself "Crap…"

"What you should do is take something for that arm and get some sleep, Gibbs. A dislocated shoulder can be very painful, not to mention the torn muscle. What did Ducky give you?"

"Aspirins" he mumbled, trying to make his way towards the door.

"What? That type of injury calls for stronger meds Gibbs, you should know that! And Ducky…"

"I don't take anything else Ziva!" he snapped at her, before softening his voice "Not if I can help it. Ducky knows that. After I was injured in Irak I was on strong pain meds for a long time. Everything that happened…, I had a hard time stopping"

She could understand that. "You are in no condition to go home. Not to mention your car is still at the Navy Yard. You can sleep here, I'll take the couch"

His protests were rather weak; to be honest with himself, Gibbs had to admit he was so tired he didn't think he would make it home awake.

Ziva hesitated in the doorway after showing him to the bedroom. "If you need any help…" she vaguely moved her hand towards his body.

He would have been amused at her coloring face if he didn't feel like crap. So he just raised his eyebrows at her "I can undress by myself for a while now, Ziver"

She smiled a small smile he wasn't sure how to interpret and went to take a shower and change in the adjacent bathroom.

Gibbs thanked Ducky in his mind for suggesting he only wore a button-down shirt, but undressing was still a challenge and he cursed himself heartily for refusing Ziva's help. By the time she came out of the bathroom he was flushed and panting and beyond caring that he stood there only in his boxers and the gauze holding his arm in front of his chest. He was however quite interested in her attire, Ziva noticed, as his eyes roamed her body, dressed in thin black cotton shorts and spaghetti-strap top. She grinned internally _"He may be a bit under the weather and stubborn as hell, but he's still just a man…"_

Ziva didn't dare offer to help him shower, though, and occupied herself with making the bed for him and fixing the couch for herself. Gibbs came out looking a bit better. _"A lot better actually"_ Ziva thought, eyeing his partially wet body and tousled hair. _"Get your mind out of the gutter, Ziva, he's not feeling well"_ she chastised herself. She let him get under the covers before turning the lights off and getting a couple of pillows which she placed on the bed to hold his arm.

Gibbs watched her moving around the room, the expanse of skin, the soft cotton clinging to her every curve. She leaned over him to place the pillows, giving him quite a close up of her chest, causing his breath to hitch and his mind to wander. He looked up at her face, but she seemed innocent and oblivious.

She skimmed her fingers lightly over his injured biceps, more like caressing than assessing the damage. Maybe she wasn't that innocent after all, Gibbs thought.

"It's only a partial tear, isn't it?"

"Yeah, Ducky said I don't need surgery for it"

"That's good". Her fingers passed over his shoulder, still lightly caressing, and went higher to cup his face.

"Good night Gibbs" she whispered, leaning forward and touching her lips to his for just a moment. He inhaled deeply, her scent filling his nostrils and her breasts pressing against his chest.

"Good night" he breathed against her lips. She got up slowly. "Call me if there's anything you need. I'm a light sleeper". Gibbs called her just as she reached the door "Ziva". She stopped and turned towards him. "Stay with me".


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the last chapter. The rating goes up for this one, as my mind likes to play in the gutter…

Thank you all so much for your reviews, they made me stay up until half past two again to finish this…

Ziva hesitated for a second in the doorway. Not because she didn't want to be there, in bed with him, but because she wanted that too much. Because, for a short while, she wasn't sure if she could stand it if all Gibbs needed from her were absolution and a warm body.

Her doubts didn't last long, though. Even if that was the case, even if that was all he wanted she would give it to him. Because he deserved it, he deserved anything she could possibly give, her soul if that's what it took.

She slowly moved towards the bed and slipped under the covers, careful not to disturb his injured arm. She turned on her side, facing him, not sure what to do. "You can sleep now, I'm here".

Gibbs wanted to be able to sleep, he really did, but knew the images that would appear the moment he closed his eyes and the nightmares that would wake him up in the middle of the night, sweating and screaming. They were always worse after a day like this one. Kelly's crying face the last time he saw her, begging him not to leave, her and Shannon's gravestone, the blood on Hernandez's windshield as he blew him away, all those people he only saw through his rifle's scope, Kate with a hole in her forehead, Jenny's bloodied body, Tony in that isolation room at Bethesda, Ziva's battered frame in Somalia… He couldn't sleep, not when he needed her so badly, needed her to make him believe his soul was still worth saving.

He reached out a hand and gently tugged a strand of her hair, moving it away from her eyes. His fingers skimmed lightly over her cheek and lips and trailed the contour of her face, learning her features. There was so much feeling in his touches and in his deep blue eyes that her doubts all but evaporated. She didn't need words to understand this was not about getting her in bed, and not even about forgiveness. He needed to heal, and although she wasn't so arrogant as to believe that was all in her hands she knew she could help him along that path.

She moved closer to him and slowly grazed her lips over his face, barely touching. Hand cradling the side of his head, she lightly kissed all over his face, trailing her tongue along his lips. His mouth again opened for her and allowed her tongue to slip inside. While he did participate in the kiss, he didn't try to take control or even coax her in any way. His passivity scared Ziva, this was so different from his usual controlling self that she felt her heart clenching in worry. She lowered her hand from his face and trailed it down over his chest, playing with the hairs there and grazing over his nipples. As her mouth lowered to join her fingers she finally felt him reacting, his good hand tangling in her hair and his breath becoming deeper.

She traced every scar that marred his torso with her lips, some older ones she didn't know about, some more recent. She slowly kissed the bullet scar in his shoulder, the one her own brother inflicted on him, and felt his breath catch in his throat. She moved her mouth to his nipples, patiently licking and biting until he squirmed beneath her, moaning softly.

"Ziva" his voice was choked and unsteady. He gently pulled at her hair, bringing her face up. She didn't think he was even aware of the fact that his eyes were wet, a single tear rolling down his temple. The urge to kiss it away was so strong she barely restrained herself, but she didn't think he would want his current vulnerability exposed. The intensity of emotion in his eyes almost broke her, but this was supposed to be about him and she just had to keep it together.

He pulled her all the way up until her cheek was resting on his shoulder, face in the crook of his neck, holding her there.

This was the hardest thing he had to say, Gibbs thought, trying to find his voice. He just laid his cards on the table. "Ziva, I don't think I can …" He was craving for her, her warm body so close, breasts pressed against his side, every one of his dreams coming true, but his body was betraying him, he felt he barely had the energy to breathe.

"Shh, just relax…" she silenced him, a finger pressing gently against his lips. "You don't have to do anything"

She removed herself from his embrace and stood near the bed. Gibbs felt like he was being stabbed. So she was leaving after all. _"Well yeah, what did you expect Jethro. This gorgeous woman in bed with you and all you can do is feel sorry for yourself"_

His eyes popped open when he heard the telltale sounds of her undressing. She slowly removed her top and dropped it somewhere out of sight, all the time looking straight at him. She untied her shorts, wiggling her hips to get out of them. She stood there completely naked, the faint light from the street drawing shadows all over her body. Gibbs felt his head spinning, his need for her increasing tenfold, if only in his mind and heart.

She lowered herself back on the bed, straddling him but keeping her weight off him. Her knees squeezed his hips as she leaned forward and kissed him with so much emotion that he felt he would drown. Ever so slowly she dragged her mouth down again over his neck and chest, nipping and licking every inch of skin, until he was left breathing hard, blood pounding in his ears. His hands roamed her body, almost at their own volition, caressing the soft skin of her thighs and then pulling her hips down to grind against him. She moaned deep in her throat, her hips jerking and pushing down harder. She continued however to slide herself lower on the bed after a moment, removing his boxers as she went.

He tried to stop her again, hating his passivity. "Ziva…" She ignored him and lowered her mouth to his groin.

"Ah God Ziva" he almost screamed as she took his still soft member in her mouth. She slowly and patiently caressed him with her lips and tongue, fingers fondling him at the same time. He groaned and arched of the bed when she placed her open hot mouth on his balls, her tongue lapping at them. She really didn't expect anything from him, aware of his condition, but she still felt she wanted to do this for him.

Feeling him starting to react and harden came as a surprise for both of them. She never stopped her ministrations, tongue licking the underside of his shaft every time she pulled up, lips tightening around the head, just a hint of teeth dragging along his length. Never going faster for more than a few seconds, slowly working him up until he was panting and twisting the fist-full of sheets he grabbed. She sucked the head harder, hand caressing his balls and his hips jerked up, desperate for more contact. One of his hands flew to her hair and pulled, making her raise her eyes to his face. He was flushed, eyes dark and wild, mouth open to draw more air. And he was definitely not above begging. "Ziva please…"

She rose above him and gave one more squeeze before aligning him to her entrance. His eyes jumped to hers. He wanted to stop her, wanted to see if she was ready for him but couldn't form the words. Hard and demanding as he was as a special agent, he was always attentive in bed, always seeing to the woman's needs first. As Ziva began to slowly lower herself on him though, he had to gather all shreds of control left just to stop himself from pushing in all the way in one move. She was ready for him, but still had to take a while to adjust to his size, her tight body fighting the intrusion. He placed a hand on her lower belly, feeling the muscles jump as she continued to lower herself, breath caught in her throat. Feeling her completely enveloping him in her heat was the most exquisite feeling, making him desperate for more, wanting to absorb her under his skin and let her warm him up from the inside. He pulled her forward, swallowing her moans with his mouth, the change in position pushing him further in. She stuck her tongue in his mouth, breasts pressed intimately against his chest, feeling his whole body trembling with the effort to restrain himself. She straightened and started to move slowly just as he was ready to beg again.

She was the most beautiful sight he'd seen, her perfectly toned body, slightly sweaty olive skin over taught muscles, firm breasts bouncing with every move, her face a sweet picture of torment. His hands went to her hips, not to control but to help her along, letting her establish her own pace, injured arm forgotten for the moment. She moved faster and harder as she got lost in the sensation of him deep inside her, filling her completely. He angled her slightly, dragging over her sweet spots on every move, making her eyes scrunch tight and moan deeply. She was so close, her movements became erratic and he felt her muscles starting to squeeze him, almost driving him over the edge. His hand shot to where they were joined and he pinched the base of his dick, delaying his release, while his thumb brushed over her clit every time she slammed herself down over him. This was supposed to be for him, Ziva thought, the small part of rational mind still working not quite effective enough for her to stop. He must have felt her holding back however. "Come on Ziva, come for me" he grunted through clenched teeth as he slammed his hips up hard into her. That's all it took for her, as she felt her whole body contracting and she screamed his name, head thrown back and internal muscles clenching hard and long around him. He tried to hold on for a moment longer, to fully witness the beauty of her coming apart on top of him. Just as she was starting to relax slightly he slammed his hips up again a couple of times before his whole body became rigid and a long, slow and loud roar erupted from his lips. He shot his load deep inside her, his body spasming, knives slicing at his spine and groin, the delay from earlier only serving to intensify his release. His eyes rolled back in his head and for a moment he felt he was going to pass out, but he wouldn't have cared even if he dropped dead that second.

He held her spent body to his chest, good arm tight around her, still feeling her around him, her heat enveloping him, body and soul. He understood what she did for him, how she tried to put all she was feeling and believing in this act, and he couldn't find the words to express everything he felt. He squeezed her harder to him, their breathing still labored and whispered the only thing that came into his mind in her ear. "Thank you"

She raised her head slowly, a tiny tired smile on her lips. As he looked into her eyes, he knew with sudden clarity what was he really wanted to say, how he could put everything in words.

"I love you Ziva"

Her eyes moistened, the emotion too much too keep bottled up. She smiled again through the tears. "I love you too Jethro"

She placed her face back on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart and knowing that even if he would still carry his demons deep inside, they would no longer have the same grip over his soul.

His sleep was not once disturbed by any of his usual nightmares.


End file.
